Everyone Else Is Doing It So Why Can't I

I have given up on the blog-a-day recipe. There are several reasons. It was not fun. It made me cry. Most of all it made me not funny. Boo Hoo.

As my last blog of 2006 I have decided to do a "Best Of" list. Please remember, these are MY best ofs not yours. Therefore, if you disagree with me, tuff!

Best Movie That Made Me Piss My Pants
Borat
Maybe it's racist. Maybe it's rude. Maybe it's stupid. These things I don't know. All I know is this: I left the theater with soiled undies. This is definitely the best comedy since There's Something About Mary.

Best Movie Based On A Comic Book That Has Already Been Made Into A Movie But That Didn't Stop Them From Making Another One
Tie: Batman Begins and Superman Returns
Some may say it's the amazing special effects. Some may say it was the fresh new story lines. Some may even say it was the sexy sexy actors who played the main characters. The truth is, the reason these movies are so amazing is because of one simple reason. Both of their titles had verbs in them. We all love a good verb.

Best Celebrity Deaths That Came In Threes
James Brown, Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein
Honestly, I don't remember what happened the rest of this year. There may very well have been a better celebrity death trifecta. I'm however, entirely to lazy to do any research. You have to admit though, these are some doozies.
1. First came James Brown. The father of indistinguishable lyrics. He was able to take those sounds you make when you stub your toe on the coffee table in the dark into actual chart topping songs. No one else has even come close to making that work. Maybe Eddie Veder. Maybe.
2.Then Gerald Ford bit it. The only man never to be elected to the oval office. Good for him. All he had to do to get there was compromise his morals and pardon a completely evil man. The Devil if you will.
3. Last and certainly not least in this parade of death, Saddam Hussein. He was hanged for the killing of 148 people following an assassination attempt on him in 1982. What about the millions he killed since then? Well you must remember, He was our ally then. We certainly can't hold him accountable for atrocities he committed under our watchful eye. Especially since we gave him the green light.

Best Reason To Go Outside
Sunlight
Apparently this stuff makes things grow. I haven't seen the proof yet. I'm gonna have to defer to the scientists on this one.

Best Album
The Decemberists: The Crane Wife
No jokes here. Just great music. If you don't believe me, do a search on google for "best albums of 2006" and check it for yourself. This album is on everyones best of list. Maybe not at #1 but that is just because they are stupid.

Best Reason To Stop This Blog
I'm done
Seriously, I have things to do. Please go outside. Celebrate with your friends. Be careful tonight and if you get the chance, find a priest to rape.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!