Day 19: Confessions Part I

I want to be honest with you about something. This is something I have never told anybody before. I'm pretty sure, not even my mother knew about this. I am very very stupid when it comes to writing the English language. I don't just mean I make tons of spelling errors - which I do - or that I have horrible grammar habits - ditto - I mean everything. The actually hand writing of the language of the free world is beyond me.

Here is what I mean:

1. No matter how slowly I write, I guarantee you will not be able to read it. I don't care if you do work for the CIA as a code breaker, it's not going to happen.

2. I'm pretty sure I don't know how to spell anything. The only reason I get anything right when I type is because of luck and spell check.

3. I can't write in cursive. Only my name. That's it. I'm serious. How little of a brain do you have to have, not to be able to write in cursive? Didn't we learn that in grade school? Fuck.

4. There are several letters in the English language which I have never been able to master. I CAN'T FUCKING WRITE THEM! These include: G, K, Q, S, and Y. I can't make an upper case G without feeling like I'm wrestling an oiled up Rosie O'Donnell. I only know one K and that is upper case. Please don't ask me to write a lower case. It is impossible. I would prefer not to speak of Q. My S's both lower and upper look like 5's. Or is it that my 5's look like S's? I don't know. There is nothing I can do about this. Believe me, I've tried. Y is the same as K only opposite. I can only write lower case Y's.

Man I'm stupid. I'm only telling you this so we can grow closer by sharing. Now please give me some of your embarrassing flaws.