Monday, July 23, 2007

Why I Cry

The folks who know me know there are few things in this world that bring me pleasure. They know one of those things is This American Life.

Those who know me also know there are only a handful of things which make me retreat to a darkened corner and weep like a choir boy who has just spent the evening helping Father Murphy look for his "watch". (This was an anal rape joke. It was also a sharp criticism projected towards the Catholic church, which apparently has no real problem with homosexual males so long as they are ordained ministers and only play hide the penis with the various holes of underage boys) The "hip" people in my life know one of these horrible things is retards.

The reason they scare me so much is because of their well documented abilities.
  1. The ability to lift a Volkswagen over their head.
  2. The ability to read minds.
  3. The ability to instantly turn your blood into silver.
  4. And of course, they can fly.

This last Saturday.

This American Life was about retards!

Needless to say, I spent the whole weekend knocking old people out of their wheelchairs.

2 comments:

blythe said...

thanks for ruining TAL for me.

also, the other week i said "tacocake" referring to a shirtless photo of mr. kelly ripa (aka mark consuelos) and instantly felt ashamed of my racism, but this, man, this takes the cake.

(Tim Layne) the Homeless Blogger said...

well, cake is kinda what i do.