I'm feeling frisky today.
NPR is blaring in my ears. My back is pain free (almost) and I was molested by this African guy at my work. Let me explain.
I was in the break room innocently washing my apple when some anonymous lady yells out at the top of her lungs, in a wholly dejected tone, "HOLY SHIT NUGGETS I JUST BOUGHT SOME MEAT STICK!!!" African dude was there warming his coffee in the microwave (Apparently his coffee is not ready unless the molecules have been rearranged a bit). He quickly exclaims how he will take this unwanted meat stick off her hands as he knows of a certain fellow who would not mind some free processed dead animal. He then proceeds to try and put the meat stick into my pocket.
Holy Jesus I was petrified. I mean yeah, I wanted the meat stick. Anyone who knows me knows I love all products that you can purchase at a middle of nowhere gas station. Anyone who knows me also knows that I certainly don't mind the soft touches of a balding, thick bespectacled African man.
The problem that I truly had was this bastard didn't even have the common courtesy to ask me if I wanted his giant, manly, black hands near my crotchel region.
What is this world coming to when one person can't muster the courage to say the following words: "Hey man, I'm gonna put this meat into your pocket. I understand how pants work. I know by putting my hand into your pocket this meat and I will be closer to your junkeg than anyone has been for a bit. Do you mind?"
In closing, I didn't take the meat. Dammit. Why didn't I take the meat.
Also, I hope you like the new, brighter look of my blog.
Also, as soon as I can figure out how, I will be posting a poll on my blog. Weeee!
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