It has recently been brought to my attention that I may resemble a fiery ball of hate and resentment and bitterness. I promise, that is not who I am.
I'm just really crestfallen when it come to the world and the humans who seem to be in control of it. The only way I can keep from stepping in front of the frowny train and its load of sadness, worry and self-doubt is to turn my own spiral of unhappiness into salty tears of wretched morbidity for others.
Sorry.
Remember:
Happiness is not a fish that you can catch but herpes is. And you can catch it from a transient named Herbert when he asks you if you can spare some change and instead of doing like you normally do and kicking him until he passes out, you blow him behind the Piggly Wiggly just for shits and giggles.
Watch out for hobos. They will give you herpes.
The End.
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